How I became a 67 year old influencer.

The title of this post makes me laugh. It might be one of my favourites. Certain career choices incite a negative reaction. Having avoided the word ‘life coach’ in favour of just about any other descriptor, I understand the way a title can get a reaction. Claiming the title of influencer is an invitation to judgment.

But still, I can’t get away from it.

I am an influencer.When I let my hair go grey, most of my friends were still colouring their hair. A few women I admired who represented the kind of older woman I hoped to be had grey hair, and it gave me the confidence to follow suit. Since then, several of my friends have chosen to let their hair return to its natural colour. I don’t think it is solely because I did, but I also know there may have been some influence.

Years ago, I heard the Jim Rohn quote: You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. Who we spend time with matters. Our influences reach farther than five people. Our wider social circles play a role in how we behave and the choices we make.Recently, I came across some course notes I had saved from my MA in Leadership. Of all the subjects I studied, I only saved my reflections on two topics: groupthink and polarity management. Groupthink can be dangerous. When I was deep into the role of pastor’s wife at a conservative evangelical church, I often felt the pressure to conform. My standing in the community depended on it (and so did my husband’s job!) Learning about groupthink opened my eyes to the danger of being a nice, people-pleasing woman.

Every time I act out of alignment with what I really believe, I influence other people to do the same.

I just ordered a book because a woman I admire spoke so highly of it and is leading a book discussion on it. Will I like it? I hope so, but the fact remains her recommendation prompted me to purchase a book that wasn’t even on my radar. We know how this works. Publishers love their authors to be selected by Oprah, Reese or Jenna. Their influence can turn an unknown writer into a bestselling author.

A few weeks ago, I had lunch with a friend. She had a salad. She always has a salad with the dressing on the side. I, on the other hand, prefer French fries with almost anything on the side when I order. Still, I notice when I am with her, I tend to select a healthier option from the menu. Not because I think she would care if I had a burger and fries, but because her choice influences mine. Her salad selection makes me more aware of other options.

I’ve been interested in leadership for a long time. Influencership is something that feels a little more subversive to me. It’s something I’m curious about at this stage of life. What would change if I recognized the power I have to influence other people by the choices I make, even quietly and locally, to make this world a better place?

Have you heard of Amanda Litman? In 2025, Amanda and her husband decided to invite people over for dinner every Saturday night that they were home. She calls it the ‘most political thing she did in 2025.’The influence their hospitality had was not just felt within their community; it has spread to many people following their lead and opening their homes to friends and neighbours.

All of this has made me aware that I am an influencer. And so are you. Whether we like it or not.

We are also always under the influence, and given the amount of time we spend consuming social media, we are being influenced in ways that might not be beneficial.

I’m thinking about what type of influencer I want to be and what voices I want to be influenced by. I don’t plan to surround myself with only people who think and act as I do, but I do want to be aware of how groupthink and influence are shaping my understanding of reality.

I don’t go very far into exploring any topic without looking up the etymology of the word. Influence is from the Latin influere and means in + flow. I have an image of all the messages that represent ideas, beliefs and values moving into and out of our lives.

I know that surrounding myself with women who are curious about being a wise, older woman (aka crone) and diving deep into conversations that are surfacing as we age, has been a wonderful experience for me. I want to walk through this season of life with women who are interested in seeing aging as a journey of culmination, not diminishment. We don’t all have to have grey hair, but we do need to be open to exploring the influences that shape our understanding of what it means to be an older woman.

No matter how many followers you have, you may as well add it to your resume. You are an influencer.

Journal or Discussion Question:

Who are the biggest influences in your life?

How do you influence the people around you?

I love the positive influence of meeting with a group of women regularly to explore topics related to conscious aging. Visit my Crone Circles to find out more. Registration is open and limited to 12 people. As of today, there are 7 spots left.