New Year, Same Question: What's Next

If I were asked to describe December, I would say, “It is the month when our values ramp up competition with each other for dominance in our lives.” I feel my need for calm and quiet challenged by my desire to be with friends and family, enjoying all the merriment of the holidays. My intention to eat healthy goes to war against my appetite for all the sweet and savoury treats available everywhere. And my desire to reflect on the past year and consider where I might engage in the next year is sidelined by my attraction to all the experiences and shiny objects calling my name.

This weekend, I read a 16-page paper that will fuel, what I imagine, will be a robust discussion in a Wisdom Circle I participate in monthly. The title of the paper is Planning In and For Life’s Autumn. The author, Paul Gilroy, drew on over 80 years of life experience in his look at planning in later life. It isn’t focused on estate planning, power of attorney, health directives and funeral arrangements. The planning under consideration is focused on the choices we make that answer the questions, “What am I going to do today, this week, next month and the coming year?”

I suppose this planning could be summed up by the question ‘What’s next?” It seems to become more essential as we age. Case in point: My husband and I have been dancing around the question of moving for several years now. We live in an old home (older than us!), and we have lots of stairs. My night knees, the ones that appear at the end of the day if I’ve been sitting for any length of time, don’t love those stairs. It seems clear that we can’t stay here for the long term, but when do we move? And where do we move? Right now, we are within a reasonable driving distance of our family and friends. The move isn’t urgent, but we know it is coming.

But beyond the big question of moving, there are countless other questions. There are so many options to consider for each question. My reading list is an example. I currently have forty-four books on hold at the library, not including the six books checked out. There are so many topics that I want to explore. And so little time to do it all.

I know this isn’t just the dilemma of someone in their third act of life. Most of us are familiar with the terms choice overload, overchoice or featuritis. It is exhausting. My son requested we keep Christmas simple this year. The exact phrase was humble Christmas. A request that we all endorse. He told me the only thing he needed was gym socks. Simple. Humble. Until I went online.

Here’s a summary from Google AI: For gym socks, prioritize moisture-wicking fabrics like synthetics (polyester, nylon, acrylic) or merino wool to keep feet dry and prevent blisters, avoiding pure cotton. Look for cushioning, arch support, and seamless toes for comfort, with crew or ankle lengths offering versatility, while compression features aid circulation for high-impact workouts. Choose a style that fits your activity and personal preference for support, breathability, and coverage. I didn’t even venture into Canadian-made and sustainable brands.

Needless to say, no gym socks have been purchased. I need a day to browse through the options. Right now, I am overwhelmed with the sock options available, and that is just one small example. We are swimming in choices, and the need for discernment is great.

And although everything seems amplified, there is nothing new under the sun. I read this quote this week:

Over the margins of life comes a whisper, a faint call, a premonition of richer living which we know we are passing by. Strained by the very mad pace of our daily outer burdens, we are further strained by an inward uneasiness, because we have hints that there is a way of life vastly richer and deeper than all this hurried existence, a life of unhurried serenity and peace and power. - Thomas R. Kelly, 1941, Quaker educator and mystic

Making choices doesn’t get easier as you age. If anything, the choices seem to carry more weight. We can’t dismiss that we don’t have the luxury of years to do it all. We need wisdom.

In my experience, the best way to that wisdom is through spiritual practices that allow you to access your deepest knowing. For some of you, that might be prayer, for some, that might be spending time in the woods, for some of you, it might be a combination of both. For all of us, it will require quiet.

Wisdom is the result of deep reflection. It can be challenging to prioritize time in our lives, especially in December. This Sunday, I am offering a Zoom workshop on creating a Wisdom Board™. It’s a pause in this busy season. You will create a tool to help you discern what’s next. Find out more here. There are four spots available.

I also have two private Wisdom Board™ in-person events planned for January. If you are interested in hosting one for a group of friends, reply to this email to find out what’s involved.