Day 27: The Crone

I know a few people who have strong feelings about the word Crone. It always makes me smile to witness their negative reaction because that is exactly why I love the word. It’s provocative. For me, Crone is not an insult or a synonym for an old woman. I use it for a woman who embraces aging, claims her wisdom, and becomes more fully herself.

The word Crone first appeared in Middle English in the late 14th century. It was used as a derogatory term for an old or withered woman. It may have come from an Old French word meaning carcass. It is almost the opposite of what most women over sixty want to portray.

It was used as an insult for an old, feeble, withered woman. Ageism has been around for a long time! The history of the word implies diminishment, of being worn out and advanced in years. And female.

In recent years, especially within women’s spirituality, Crone has been reclaimed as a name for an older woman who possesses experience, discernment, authority and wisdom. The American Heritage Dictionary now includes both senses: the derogatory “old woman” meaning and a woman “venerated for experience, judgment, and wisdom.”

That progression resonates with me.

The Crone archetype is often described as a woman with gifts of intuition, wisdom, confidence, knowledge, courage and perception. A friend describes her as someone who can cut through the bullshit.

I see her as a wise elder, but perhaps more importantly, I see her as a woman who has embraced aging. She is no longer as concerned with the old roles and expectations that once shaped her life. She has become less interested in being liked and more interested in living from her own wisdom.

She isn't trying to be a younger woman.

She knows who she is and what matters to her. She is learning to live aligned with her values. She may still care what other people think, but she is no longer willing to organize her life around pleasing everyone. She is becoming more comfortable with disappointing people.

The Crone also knows the value of community. Her growing independence does not mean she no longer needs other people. She knows that aging is not something we do alone, and that her own gifts have a place in the community.

I picture the Crone wearing a cape, foraging in the woods, gathering what she needs and offering what she has to give. She is a little wild. She lives somewhat at the edges of the culture. She is not interested in drama, pettiness or mind games. She is curious, discerning and awake to the world around her.

I can’t find the source for this quote, which was given to me at a SoulCollage workshop:

“She is the woman who has walked all the way to the end of the bridge between this world and the spiritual realm. She spends much time in the inner realm, reflecting, unravelling, marinating and evolving…”

The passage goes on to describe her as the antithesis of the people-pleaser: a woman who values herself and her time and no longer needs to be liked. I don't know who wrote those words, so I won't claim them as my own. But they have stayed with me because they capture something I recognize in the Crone.

In her paper The Crone Archetype, Joanne Sienko Ott explores the Crone as an archetypal image through which older women can reclaim their authentic selves. She writes about developing trust in one's own insights and intuitive ways of knowing, and describes the Crone as an invitation to go inward and bring forth creativity.

In my work, I embrace the journey toward becoming the Crone. Our culture wants older women to fade away. So many of us have experienced that sense of becoming invisible. The answer doesn't lie in pursuing youth.

For me, the Crone represents something else. She represents a woman who is becoming more fully herself.

Whenever I feel myself playing it a little safe, I like to check in with my inner Crone and see what she has to say. I'm doing that right now as I work on my website and sharpen my focus in my work. I’m aware that it is easy to fall into the trap of trying to appeal to all women over sixty. The Crone helps me see when things are becoming so nice that they have lost their edge.

What would she have me do?

I like to picture her in her cape, a little wild, living on the edges of the culture, inviting women to join her in becoming themselves.

And perhaps that is why I love the word Crone.

It was once used to diminish an older woman. I want to use it to remind us not to diminish ourselves.