The Middle Ground is Paved with Good Intentions

I’ve been pondering how much cognitive dissonance I live with every day. I know I can’t be alone. We hold certain beliefs and values, yet often act in ways that contradict them. We may accept this as part of the reality of living with so much information that we can’t possibly act on it. We know far more about the impact of our choices, and yet, we still have to choose often with constraints and pressures.

This week I purchased individual bags of popcorn and 100% juice boxes to give out on Halloween. I made that choice because I don’t want to give out candy that is full of sugar, palm oil, and food dye. But I also care about the environment, and I don’t want to give out bags that go in the garbage or boxes with plastic straws. What to do?

Neither option was good, but apples have gotten a bad rap, and I didn’t want this decision to take over my life. As you know, I can be very bah-humbug about Halloween, but for the sake of the little kids on my street and my relationship with my neighbours, I participate - reluctantly and for the minimum amount of time possible.

It’s not the only way I make choices that don’t feel authentic or aligned with my deepest self. I indulge in foods that aren’t ‘good for me’ (aka potato chips), I watch Prime Video and at the same time hate Amazon. I drive my car places I could easily walk. I use AI (although I am very selective) and protest data centers.

I’m doing the best I can, and I suspect you are similar. But the cost of living with all this tension must do something to our souls. I wonder if that is why we feel so overwhelmed at times? Is this why so many of us are staying home and numbing out on social media? Do we consistently choose the simplest or easiest option to resolve our tension?

We have become masters of compromise. And sometimes the middle ground is the right choice, but it also feels like that ground is paved with our good intentions. We do what we can and accept that we are going to make choices that don’t align with what we value. Along the way, we begin to feel like hypocrites.

It makes big decisions challenging. There often is no right or wrong answer. Do we compromise? Do we stand our ground? Do we take a risk and do something surprising? And as we get older, the stakes can feel different. The choices we are making can be multi-faceted and complex.

I think this is why discernment matters. When we pay attention to what feels right and true for us, we become better equipped to make conscious choices, even when they aren’t perfect.

If you are interested in exploring Discernment and looking at how you can shift from decision-making as an event to a practice of paying attention to your life, check out my new (and affordably priced!) workshop.

And a warning to the kids in my neighbourhood - get here early and make sure you say, “Trick or Treat!” I’ll have the goodies, but I won’t be answering the door all night. And that is something I’m not compromising.