What is the big deal about finishing things?

I like starting things. I have a hard drive full of incomplete books and articles. I have a basket full of yarn for projects that lost their shine after all the supplies were procured. And books? My ‘to be read’ pile is impressive.

I recall taking a Kolbe Personality Test and discovering that I was a Quick Start. No surprise to me. I can get up in the morning and have an impulse to begin something, and everything else on the schedule is abandoned. (I am aware now that this is also behaviour quite characteristic of ADHD.)

For a long time, I felt inferior about being a “starter.” It seemed to go with a story that I never followed through. The unfinished projects felt like evidence that I had somehow failed. At what I’m not sure!

The message I carried was that finishing things was what counted. I wasn’t allowed to leave the table until I finished my dinner when I was a child. I was constantly being reminded to finish things. Put things away. Clean up. Finish strong.

No one gave me points for starting things. And in my childhood brain, there were points to be had that totalled up to being a successful human.

I do like starting things. What I sometimes forget is that I also finish things. I’ve created many courses and hosted events. I’ve finished many knitting and sewing projects. I have what I refer to as my ‘body of completed work.’

The truth is, not every project needs to be finished. I don’t think there is anything wrong with starting something and then deciding I’m no longer interested. As far as I know, it is not illegal, immoral or harmful to start something and never finish it. Maybe the starting gave me what I needed. Thanks for the dopamine!

I’m okay abandoning a book halfway through if I lose interest. Or turning off a movie. I don’t need to finish every meal. There’s something immensely liberating about discovering when I have had enough of something and letting it go.

I’ve also got projects that I prefer to say, “I’ve put on the back burner.” They aren’t finished yet. It’s all about the way we frame things. Starting things is great. It’s fun and energizing. It’s only a problem if I start to judge myself and believe I don’t finish anything or that I’ve failed if I quit.

I’m fascinated about the stories we tell ourselves. The stories about who we are that sometimes keep us stuck in beliefs that limit what we attempt. Or the stories that shaped us within our families or communities.

When I completed my certification with Sage-ing International and started to focus on the work of conscious aging, I knew that part of what I would do would be helping people unpack their stories. There are two places where this is essential in our third act: life review and legacy writing.

Life Review allows us to look back over our lives and the things that shaped us so that we can find healing. We can integrate our experiences so that we resolve our stories.

Legacy writing is when we take our stories and record them for the people we love to help them understand who we were and to guide them in their becoming.

So, I’m excited to tell you I about something I just completed. This summer, I offered a 10-week email course called The Summer Legacy Project. I was thrilled with how many of you signed up for it, and I was happy with how it turned out. I decided to take those ten topics and add two more, and created a workbook called The Soul-Centered Aging Legacy Project.

And I finished it!

It’s available on my website. There are twelve topics to explore. Each topic also includes writing prompts and a ritual. The advance feedback has been good. You can do one a month or on any schedule that works for you. You could even pick the ones that appeal to you the most. No judgment here. When you start and when or if you finish is up to you. You decide when you are done.

Your story matters. Maybe it’s time to start writing it.