• Sandy Reynolds

How a Manifesto Can Free You From People-Pleasing

A friend of mine wrote a personal manifesto to clarify and celebrate what is true for her right now at this time in her life. She sent it to me, and I thought it was so brilliant. I asked her if I could use it as my blog post this week. I know you'll like it!


A manifesto is a statement or declaration of the intentions and beliefs of the writer. It's an excellent way to get clear on paper about what you want in your life. As you read it, I hope you'll consider what would be on your own personal manifesto.  I'll give you some thoughts at the end on why I think this one is such a great example.

Healthy Boundaries Manifesto

by Ruth Denyer*


Radical self-love is the concept upon which this manifesto is based and will provide a framework for how decisions will be made, moving forward, in my life. Radical self-love is defined as our inherent state of being, a state where we are worthy and enough. 


I am adopting these behaviours not to build a wall to protect myself or hide, to hinder my personal growth or development, or to become a less caring or kind person, but to honour myself as a being who was placed on this Earth by a loving God, who recognizes that my one task is to develop my unique set of gifts and to offer them, compassionately and willingly, to the world in a way that honours my being.


Change happens in the blink of an eye—a decision is made, a shift happens in the brain, and a new way of interacting in the world comes forth. Please forgive yourself when you make a mistake, it is not easy to change the conditioning and behaviour that took sixty years to create. And there are those around you who have benefitted from your lack of healthy boundaries—sitting with their anger and confusion will be part of this journey. When in doubt, return to the principle of radical self-love and use that to guide your behaviour.

 

The experiences that have lead me to create this manifesto were painful, damaging, hurtful, traumatic and unpleasant, and I honour them all. I also recognize that I am still not at peace with many of them, still holding the uncomfortable feelings they create within me. 


I know it's hard to be reconciled

not everything is exactly 

the way it ought to be 

but please turn around 

and step into the future 

leave memories behind