How I know I am getting older.

I’ve been writing daily microblogs for almost two weeks. It is a project I created leading up to my birthday to pay attention to what is surfacing for me in this season of life. One of the things I’ve noticed is the reality of aging is something I confront on a daily basis.

Like today, I was in Costco. I saw a case of coconut water and I paused to read the label. As I was reading it, a very thoughtful man, offered to put it in my cart. His exact words were, “Do you need some help getting that into your cart?”

Hmmm. What prompted that offer? Did I look like I couldn’t manage it? Was he just a kind person wandering around helping people put things in their cart? The first conclusion I jumped to was, “I must look old and weak.” My mom gets offers of help all the time. I offer to help older women. I hold the door open for them. I help them unload their carts at Costco. And now, I’m getting asked???

It was a blow to ego. I had just successfully loaded a case of San Pellegrino into my cart (and I buy glass bottles.) The truth is I have no idea why this man offered to help me. Maybe he just saw me staring at the carton and thought I needed help. Maybe age doesn’t have anything to do with. Still, it is the first time I remember someone offering me to assist me in a store. It did make me wonder.

At a certain stage of life, there are a hundred little moments that remind us of our age. It isn’t always the big milestones that stop us in our tracks. It may be having people think you are Margaret Atwood. It may be getting comfortable talking about mortality. Or maybe it was looking in the mirror and knowing you couldn’t blame a bad night’s sleep on the lines on your face.

I know I’m not alone, when I say how surprising it can be to find yourself at the threshold of 68 and discovering that there is no denying that you are aging and it is good. It is also a shift not only in how you see yourself, but also in how other people see you.

I am grateful I get to experience this stage of life. And I’m grateful for the community of women I have met doing this work of conscious aging. Women who want to discuss all of it. Women who want to find the gold in this process. Women who can laugh about these new experiences.

And that’s what the microblogs are becoming for me. They are ways of noticing these moments and reflecting on them. I’m asking: What happens when I begin paying attention to the experiences I am having instead of brushing them aside?

And, if you are interested in being part of a community of women who are exploring the big and little moments along the path of becoming an elder check out my Crone Circle. The next one starts next week and there are still some spaces available.