• Sandy Reynolds

Why you can't be honest?

Did you watch the US Open when the umpire accused Serena Williams of cheating. And she lost it? She was demanding an apology. Clearly she is a woman who values honesty. And being questioned about her integrity made her rage.


I was so impressed with the way she defended herself, demanding that he apologize.

So many of us back down when it comes to being honest.


I know I have - and at times I still find it difficult to speak my truth. I have been so conditioned to worry about what other people think...and not wanting to offend others that the real me doesn’t always show up.


I now think that as long as we keep hiding who we are, what we really believe, what our opinions are, what we want, how we feel and what we think from ourselves, we are never going to be able to bring our authentic selves to the table and use our gifts to heal the world.


And yet, we continue to choose cognitive dissonance over being authentic and true to ourselves.

John O’Donohue writes in The Trap of False Belonging, “We learn to fit in, shrink down, minimize our truth. We want to please others and not rock the boat. We cancel or hide our true selves.

It’s time to get honest with yourself. For your own mental health

So how do we start reclaiming our truth?


The first step is to WAKE UP.

In Dance of the Dissident Daughter, Sue Monk Kidd refers this to being in a Deep Sleep. She says,

“A woman in Deep Sleep is one who goes about in an unconscious state. She seems unaware or unfazed by the truth of her own female life, the truth about women in general, the way women and the feminine have been wounded, devalued, and limited within culture, churches, and families. She cannot see the wound or feel the pain. She has never acknowledged, much less confronted, sexism within the church, biblical interpretations, or Christian doctrine. Okay, so women have been largely missing from positions of church power, we’ve been silenced and relegated to positions of subordination by biblical interpretations and doctrine, and God has been represented to us as exclusively male. So what? The woman in Deep Sleep is oblivious to the psychological and spiritual impact this has had on her. Or maybe s