What I think about St. Patrick’s Day
My mom is from Belfast. She is Protestant. She moved to Canada when she was 15. We consider ourselves part Irish. Her experience growing up in Northern Ireland aligned more with Irish culture than British culture. Shamrocks, Leprauchans, and Shillelagh adorned our house. Trinkets that reminded her of the place she still calls ‘back home.’
She is 86 and she made an Irish dinner yesterday for the family. I’ll heat leftovers of boiled cabbage, potatoes and salt beef for lunch. It’s a tradition I enjoy. I just talked to her and she is wearing green today.
About 5 years ago, pre-pandemic anyway, I was taking a wilderness survival training course. We met for a weekend every month for skill-building workshops. As it happened, we met on March 17th.
Without thinking too deeply about it, I wished the group a “Happy St. Patrick’s Day.” It didn’t seem like a big deal. But it was. The words were barely out of my mouth when the facilitator (who seemed locked and loaded waiting for an unsuspecting person to mention the occasion) went on a tirade. In front of the group.
She lectured me for about five minutes on colonialism, the Catholic church, St. Patrick and more. She was enraged that I would say, “Happy St. Patrick’s Day.” I was schooled. I was also shamed publicly in front of a group of people.
Here’s the effect of her outburst.
I made a decision not to sign up for any course she taught in the future. I’ve been a group facilitator for over 25 years. I value safety in a group. It takes a lot of trust for a gathering of strangers to come together and trust each other. She destroyed it. Everyone felt awkward. The room was very quiet. People were uncomfortable. She was out of line.
After I worked through all the feelings, I accepted her point of view. I understand that it may be offensive to some people to be wished a Happy St. Patrick’s Day.
I have mixed feelings about days like St. Patrick’s Day, Canada Day, etc. I understand the impact of colonization on Indigenous peoples. It is tragic. It’s messy. It’s difficult. I also know that when my mother makes a dinner to celebrate being Irish, there is no intention to celebrate the dark days of her culture’s history. She is simply celebrating her Irish culture. I think those things can be held in tension.
If we want a better world, we need to start right where we are. Make it safe for the people around you. Attacking someone for their beliefs is an act of aggression. We need to allow time for people to consider other beliefs and adjust their own. Kindness, tolerance, and acceptance are all important as we look at how we can heal the past for a better future.
So, if someone says Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you today try and understand what they mean. Like my mother, they may be simply celebrating being Irish. Take a breath. You can feel as smug as you want about your enlightened beliefs. Just remember, as soon as you attack someone else you are othering people just like everyone else does. Accepting people who are different is a challenge.
As my Irish relatives would say, “Get over yourself.” Take it one conversation at a time motivated by love, not anger.
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
(traditional Irish blessing)
Also posted on Substack