What I have learned from helping women buy clothes.

I promised you a personal update a few weeks ago. The most significant change in my life (aside from turning 65) is I have taken a new job. I work every Tuesday at a local and online shop called Sari Knot Sari. 

Several years ago, I met Priya, the owner, when I first discovered her shop. Our connection has grown. We even hired a coach together to work on our businesses. I love everything her brand represents. I was at Sari Knot Sari in August and told her, “I love this store so much I should work here.” She hired me on the spot to work one day a week. 

One of the reasons this job appeals to me is that there is an overlap in the people drawn to both of our businesses. Many of her clients are women over 55 who think deeply about the choices they make in their lives. They are conscious consumers. Priya and I both care about how our work impacts the world. 

Connecting with women face-to-face allows me to listen to what matters to them. It is also helping me articulate what I do more clearly. Priya is incredibly supportive of me and has given me space to promote my work to her customers (including physical space for business cards.) She is very generous. 

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a woman who has undergone a transformation that has prompted her to rethink her wardrobe. I have had similar conversations with many customers. It could be body or life changes that catalyze purchasing new clothes to reflect their current reality and how they see themselves.

I reflected on how most women I help describe what they want in their lives and their clothes. They often use the word' comfort.’ They want their clothes to feel comfortable, and they want to feel comfortable about how they look in them. Comfort means that what they are wearing feels good. It helps them feel more like themselves.

Comfort. We want comfy clothes, comfort food, and cozy homes. I know I am not the only one who walks in my front door and heads to my bedroom to remove anything that feels restricting. Comfort is a priority.

My desire for creature comforts increases when I am facing challenges in my life. If I am honest, these days, I find myself snuggling beneath a blanket with a heating pad and a novel, avoiding facing the reality of some of the horrors of the world these days.

We often strive for comfort by eliminating the things that make us uncomfortable. We move on from the people and situations that present us with challenges we don’t need or want. And yet, it is in discomfort that we grow. Haven’t we all experienced the benefits of uncomfortable conversations and difficult decisions? 

There is a difference between finding comfort and numbing or avoidance. Living fully and consciously means being willing to live with some discomfort. Learning something new is uncomfortable, whether facing our mortality, legacy planning, letting go of regrets, or working a new POS system in a retail store. 

Here’s what I think. We become comfortable not only by removing the things that make us uncomfortable but also by facing them head-on. We explore our internal fears and become aware of the areas in our lives that are challenging for us.

Becoming conscious of the things troubling us and facing them helps increase our comfort, resilience and confidence. It’s not either/or work. We can't eliminate everything. This is how transformation takes place. 

Over time, we discover we aren't the same people we were because we've dared to face our fears. We become more comfortable with our lives. We may even want a new wardrobe to reflect these changes!

In my life, I used to be afraid to talk about death and mortality. I’ve discovered that discussing and reflecting on my mortality has helped me become more comfortable with it. 

There will always be people, situations, global events and internal anxieties that make us uncomfortable. We can do everything possible to create the conditions we need to support ourselves as we confront our concerns. This is part of the work of conscious living and conscious aging. 

I’m all for being comfortable. I’m writing this in my housecoat. However, I will soon change into something equally comfortable but more presentable for a Zoom call! 

This week, pay attention to the pull towards comfort in your life. When do you feel uncomfortable? How do you respond? Is there something to learn from the discomfort? Wear your comfy clothes, get out your journal, call a friend, and explore what is happening. Or if you are local, drop by the store on a Tuesday and say hello.